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Simmy De Trini has shared a deeply personal account of surviving domestic violence, saying the viral video involving a man identified as Joel brought back memories of abuse she experienced in a previous relationship. “The Joel video is triggering because, as many of you may know, I am a domestic violence survivor,” Simmy wrote as she reflected on the footage and the wider conversation it has generated online. She said arguments inside vehicles that develop into threats, deliberately frightening driving, intimidation and violence over jealousy, control or a wounded ego were experiences she knew personally. Simmy recalled one particularly violent incident in which an ex-partner held her by her ponytail and repeatedly bashed her face into burglar proofing. She said a neighbour heard her screaming for help and intervened. The attack left her with a front tooth fractured below the gum line, a badly split lip that required stitches on the inside and swelling and bruising across her face. At the time, Simmy said she was working as a reporter at the Express and had to use both sick leave and vacation leave to give her face and body enough time to heal before returning to work and facing people again. She said the violence was not limited to that incident. According to Simmy, the same former partner had previously thrown a glass bottle at her head and threatened to kill her mother if she left him. She said he also threatened to kill her and threatened to take his own life if she ended the relationship. Her account highlighted how abuse can involve much more than physical violence. Simmy described fear, intimidation, isolation and control as tools that can make it extremely difficult for someone to safely leave an abusive relationship. She said abusers may isolate victims from friends and relatives, make them feel guilty and undermine their credibility, leaving them feeling as though they have nowhere to turn. For Simmy, having people willing to believe a survivor, check on them, offer shelter and stand beside them can make a major difference. She also challenged the tendency to dismiss threatening or controlling behaviour as passion or ordinary “relationship drama”, stressing that violence, intimidation, threats and coercive control are forms of abuse. Simmy said official statistics can never fully capture the scale of domestic violence because many women never report what has happened to them. She suggested there are countless untold experiences that would shock people if survivors felt safe enough to speak publicly. Her disclosure came as the viral Joel video continued to fuel discussion about violence, intimidation and controlling behaviour within relationships, with Simmy using her own experience to draw attention to what can happen behind closed doors.
